f you are planning a wedding, you’ve already heard the two key tips: stay organized and don’t panic. While these are both nice starting points, they are not going to help you through the next year of phone calls, meetings, food samplings, location visits, travel arrangements, and much more.
How to Avoid Wedding Planning Drama
My husband and I were married on May 12th, 2009 and I can tell you that, more than once, I got so wrapped up in planning the “perfect” day that I yelled at my fiancé, started crying, and ate too way many brownies. It didn’t have to be that way! Spending a little extra time on keeping my desires organized, sharing the weight of planning responsibilities, and simply reconnecting with my hubby-to-be on a regular basis would have made all the difference.
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I initially narrowed my color scheme down to yellow and blue, but with so many hues and shades to choose from, it took me almost 3 months to finally decide. |  |
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Let my mistakes be your lessons learned. These are the seven things that I wish someone had warned me about even before the proposal. It may take some self-reminders, but in the end, you can save countless amounts of time, stress, and money.
1. Start Early, Start Simple
Every wedding magazine and website has its their checklist to help with your planning. Most checklists are based on a 12-month timeline, which is the common timeframe used for planning all aspects from start to finish.
My advice? Start sooner! Arrange the larger aspects first— choosing just the right color scheme, theme or location can be a long process. My fiancé and I jumped into wedding planning right away. We ended up changing our date and location 3 times.
Even if you and your hubby-to-be aren’t planning on getting married for a while, start thinking about color schemes for your event. The colors you use will set the tone for the entire event, and sticking to a color scheme by featuring said colors in all aspects of your day (decorations, flowers, invitations, accessories … etc.) is an easy way to save money. I initially narrowed my color scheme down to yellow and blue, but with so many hues and shades to choose from, it took me almost 3 months to finally decide.
Check out some of the great wedding-related blogs on the web. They are full on constant inspiration and a great source for color palettes:
Snippet & Ink
Flights of Fancy
Once Wed
Brooklyn Bride
100 Layer Cake
Style Me Pretty
Take all the time you need to explore their depths. Narrow down your favorite color choices to 3-5 different palettes and then consult with your fiancé to pick the final verdict.
2. Food, Photography, or Location
Regardless of the economy, weddings can be very expensive and a well-thought-out budget is a key to long-term sanity. As with any budget, you have to pick and choose what is most important to you and where you will spend the most money. The most common big-ticket items are:
- Food
- Photography
- Location(s)
My advice? Splurge on your photography! Good food doesn’t have to be expensive and almost any location can be special. Your memories of the day will be captured in the images your photographer takes—make sure they are great ones. If you need to redirect some of your budget to cover photography costs, recruit friends and family to help with food preparation, favors, and decorations. You’ll save money and make the day all the more memorable for everyone.
3. Be Original
Three-tier cakes, ball gown-style dresses, guest favors, seating assignments—after awhile, all the little things become extremely hard to track. Have you ever stopped and thought about what you really want? How about cupcakes instead of a layered cake? Why not ditch the wedding favors or make them yourself? Forgo the Cinderella dress and try something that reflects your personal style.
My advice? Don’t do something just because everyone else does. When my fiancé and I first started planning out wedding, we looked at “traditional” ceremony and reception locations, full-length dresses, matching bridesmaids’ outfits, guest favors, 3-4 course meals, but something about it just didn’t seem right. Thankfully, it only took us about 5 months to realize what the problem was: none of that stuff was “us”.
Your wedding is your wedding. Devote time to looking at lots of magazines and real weddings online to figure out what kind of day you really want. Maybe a ceremony in a public park and then a cookout-style reception is right up your alley. Or how about renting a charter boat for both events? There are no limits to what you can do for your day, so let your mind wander for a few months before you start signing contracts and paying vendor deposits.
4. Prepare for the Paperwork
Whoever said that death and taxes are the only two guarantees in life mistakenly left out paperwork. Everything from magazine pages and catering menus to receipts and contracts will soon be overflowing from your desk, unless you develop a system. Remember, staying organized is vital to saving money and your sanity. Repeat this like a mantra through out your planning.
Organizing is like clothes shopping— one size does not fit all. You have to find what works for you and embrace it. Personally, I like file folders, but some like binders with dividers, pocket folders, or even cloth-covered boxes.
No matter the method or style of organizing you choose, make sure that it is easily updated and makes finding what you need as simple as pie. For wedding planning in particular, there are a few consistent elements you can expect & use to stay sane:
- A calendar
- A budget
- A payment schedule
- Payment receipts
- Vendor contracts
- A vendor contact list
- Ideas clipped from magazines and found on wedding blogs
- A guest list
- A wedding party list
By having these particular papers on-hand, you will be able to answer any questions others have or facts & figures you can’t remember off the top of your head. For chic and sassy organizing tools, check out the following websites.
Paper Source
See Jane Work
Russell + Hazel
EcoJot
5. Remember What You Are Planning For
This is your wedding – you’re marrying the person you love. No matter what flavor the cake is or the color of your dress, at the end of the day, the two of you will be married. That is more important than any china pattern or location. Take time out to spent regular “date nights” together, excluding any wedding conversations. Simply remind yourself of why you fell in love in the first place and why you are busting your chops to make a special day the two of you can share.
By cnyspagirl, Jul 02, 2009
Victoria - Good advice. Speaking from wedding planning experience (my own) and being married for 10 years, probably the best advice for brides to be is: Don't sweat it! Yes, your wedding is important and it will probably be one of the more important days of your life. But in the grand scheme of things (life itself), the wedding itself is less important than the marriage, the family that you create together, and life together in general.
Enjoy, but keep it all in perspective too.
By Kristin B, Jul 07, 2009
Awesome advice! I work with a bride magazine so I'm well versed in the anxieties and joys of being a bride.
My number one piece of advice is to make it YOUR day (and your hubby-to-be, too!). I absolutely agree with not sweating the small stuff.
Do it your way and focus on what matters most to you: great food, time with your family, amazing ambiance--what will you really remember from the day? Focus on that. Everything else fades away over the years and your guests have likely seen it all before. It's the personal, unexpected touches that standout.
By Krissy, Jul 08, 2009
i love the part about being original!!! i think that is the most important thing... i rather have the memory of us having a wedding as a fun party that was us..
different is always better!!!