Weight Gain After Miscarriage
| Member Comments (7)
Added Nov 18, 2009
Hello all. I'm brand new to Inner Rewards - just signed up today - and am already loving this site! My situation is this: I've had two miscarriages in the last two years. I gained weight almost immediately after finding out I was pregnant. Then, after the miscarriage, the weight didn't go away - 20 extra pounds total. Could be the emotional stress that both situations caused, but I've not quite been the same (physically) ever since. I'm not as active, not as brave, not as disciplined anymore. It's almost like I need a therapist who doubles as my trainer! As much as I would like that to be a joke, I'm afraid it's true. Don't misunderstand me, though. I know how to tap into my strength and I know that it will take me great distances. It's just about finding the right fit. ANY thoughts and/or idea's are welcome. And, thanks for listening :)
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Melissa S |
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By Christina Angelacos, Nov 18, 2009
Hi Melissa, welcome to the InnerRewards family! First of all I totally feel for you and i am so sorry to hear about the miscarriage, it must have been so hard, and to top it off now you are left with a reminder you could definitely do without-the weight.
While I feel that personal trainers work wonders, I'm also a believer in group classes. They're a great way to get the body moving and shed pounds, while also providing a support system of work-out buddies that kept you motivated to return. Last but not least, I made friends that crossed over into my outside of the gym life. I started with Cardio Thai Boxing (a GREAT way to tone up fast!) and that lead to Mini Trampoline Jumping classes, then Latin Dance, then Group Pilates. Within three months, my week was full of fun classes that kept me motivated, social, and in great shape.
Hope this helps!
By Shannon E, Nov 19, 2009
I am so sorry for your losses. I wish you had your babies.
After my first one, I was young and bounced back. After the second one, I didn't lose the weight for months. I finally saw a grief counselor for about six sessions to learn more about handling the grief so that I didn't have this gaping hole inside of me that I tried to fill with food. She helped me so much just by acknowledging the pain of a loss of a baby, even one just 12 weeks along. Most everyone else acted like it was just a missed period or two.
After the third one I lost my appetite and had no trouble losing the weight. Unfortunately I also lost a lot of hair. After the fourth one, I joined HAND (Help After Neonatal Death) and Weight Watchers. I also invested in a mini step machine and would only let myself watch tv when I was using it.
In amongst that I carried two pregnancies to term and have two healthy boys now. I still think about my other four babies and wonder who they would be. I celebrate their brief lives on Day of the Dead, making them an alter with flowers and sweet treats. It helps me live with the loss. Most people assume that having two healthy kids makes me forget about my ghost babies. I have room enough in my heart for all six. I love them all, am grateful for the living ones, and still grieve the dead ones.
By Shannon E, Nov 19, 2009
Very little is really known about miscarriage, so we did very few tests. Jon Cohen's book _Coming to Term_ also really helped me understand what little we do know about it. He is a medical journalist that writes about his journey with his wife and their miscarriages. He also summarizes the current research beautifully. The book helped me feel strong in my (rare for an American) decision to simply watch and wait. In the end, after six pregnancies in six years, I had my tubes tied during the emergency c-section of my second child. I really don't want to be pregnant ever again.
I also pursued adoption during my journey with motherhood. In fact since I had my boys I have taken in one foster child and am considering taking in her sister. The research I did helped me keep my heart and mind open to how much love I have for the children in my life.
I hope for all good things for you with your motherhood journey. Remember, motherhood is like a plane flight: put on your own oxygen mask before helping those around you. The better you take care of your health the more you have to give. Big hugs from one mom to another.
By Carolyn Schlicher, Nov 19, 2009
Welcome to IR! It's great to have you!
I'm so sorry that you have had such a tremendous loss. There is no way to appreciate how deeply your pain must go! I'm just so sorry. It's great to hear you know how to "tap into" getting past this and incorporating it into your life.
Actually, I think there are people who are into physical conditioning with the inclusion of getting into the "whys" and "hows" the person is at any given point in their life. However, that isn't a resource I have access to. Perhaps a getting in touch with an organization that certifies Life Coaches (you can search IR on this term).
I do know there are miscarriage support groups. I know my friend went to one after hers and she learned some practical things to do to process the death of her baby. (I know one was to name her baby and with her family they actually had a memorial service, but there were other things, too.) That might not be for you, but perhaps there are some other suggestions a group like that might have that "ring true" with something that would help you continue this process.
By Vanessa Denham, Nov 22, 2009
I am sorry to hear of your loss. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling. In a perfect world none of us would even have to imagine it.
You have received some great comments and suggestions. In reading your post, though, I was reminded of a friend who had similar issues after pregnancy. Her's was full-term, but she just didn't seem to bounce back. Low energy, more fearful, etc. She is a nutrition expert and has been a top contender in bodybuilding competitions, so was fairly certain that wasn't the issue. She was feeling depressed and doing all the right things about that. Still no results. Ultimately, it turned out that her hormones were WAY off the norm. Once she got those squared away ALL the other symptoms disappeared and the weight melted off easily.
I trust you will find your answers soon and take action to get your life back. Perhaps there is a young child just waiting for "mom" to be ready to receive him or her. I hope so, for your joy.
Live with passion and purpose!